Cambodia - Clothing Optional

Tiffany and Zach decided that their October holiday was a good time for an adventure. No more lazing poolside all day with fruity cocktails in hand! No more muscle melting spa treatments in the afternoon, fancy pants dinners at night and sissy soft hotel beds to flop into! No! It was time for a challenge, a time to test their mettle in the third world countryside, a battle of wits against the crafty locals! So it was off to Cambodia for the National Week holiday (the Chinese, true patriots that they are, take a full week off for their "independence day"). First stop, Phnom Penh, capital city. As you can see, this tricky Cambodian girl is camoflauging herself in the river to avoid detection from poor wayward tourists.

Tiff and Zach also learned to recognize this widespread band of ruffians, which roamed recklessly around the country, scaring foreigners with their bold orange gang colors, flashing them with eerily knowing smiles for no reason at all!

Living in a "one child policy" country like China did not prepare them for the total mayhem of wild packs of children running loose throughout town! Tiffany was nearly abducted by this gang of hooligans.

Is there no law and order at all? These shady fellows armed themselves with knives and sharp scissors along the street and just waited for unsuspecting long haired victims (like Zach!) to walk by...

The anarchy was relentless, with perfectly able bodied men rebelling against daylight working hours by publicly flaunting their napping skills!

This was NOT this lady's fruit! And did she take care for its well-being? Did she take normal, safety measures to ensure its safe transport? Not a chance! Just for kicks, she threw it up on her head to carry it around. And when Tiff frightenedly whispered, "Why? but why?!?" the lady snapped back, "Because I can! Because I can..."

Two more of the shaved head, blazing orange brigands, grabbing a ride off some poor hostage driver. And no safety helmets to top it off!

This truck drove up and down the streets of Phnom Penh with Billy on the back laughing at all the poor suckers who didn't have a sweet tarp stretched across the back of a pickup truck to ride.

The banana merchants convinced Tiffany to come over and take a look. "But, wait," thought Tiffany, "where there are bananas..."

"Monkeys!!!" With terror frozen across her face as Tiffany remembered her Indonesian monkey experience (see May 2006 entry: 'When Monkeys Attack'), Tiffany slowly, slowly edged away from them, and just barely managed to escape getting bitten by monkeys in two different countries where no animal health and safety controls exist.

Hammocks were a very popular form of hiding in Cambodia. Small children would often hide in the hammocks, barely visible snuggled next to an adult body. Sneaky!

This lady had all sorts of flowers and incense sticks to pawn off on us. She was friendly enough, but by the look on her face, we both knew whose side she was on, and it sure wasn't ours.....

And then, like Children of the Naked Corn (or Naked Children of the Corn, maybe), like a swarm of locusts, they came. Wave after wave of naked brown bodies came running and screaming all around us. And we just stood there. Too scared to move. Too scared to run.

We tried to call for the police, but the lone phone booth was well guarded...

One would advance while the other moved to flank us.

No pants were to be found! Anywhere!

Poor Tiffany bolted up a tree only to be sniffed out by this ruthless and toothless toddler, who poked and whacked at her like a pinata.

Elephant-mounted children cut off their exit!

Tiff and Zach finally found cover in the National Museum and the Royal Palace.

Tiffany worked up a little disguise of her own at the Royal Palace, where a "covered shoulders" requirement necessitated this fashion faux pas.

Finally at dinner, just when Tiff and Zach ditched all the children, they realized they were not alone... A hideous dragon beast glared at them from above! Tiffany kept a diligent watch on the amphibian as a terror stricken Zach attempted meekly to eat his food.

What will happen to our intrepid travelers next as they move on to Siem Reap, the second stop on their dangerous 'tour of adventure'?!? Be sure to tune in later in the week to find out.......