Scary China

Happy Halloween!!!!

We are putting together our pictures from this weekend's Halloween-in-Shanghai celebration.

In the meantime, you can see Tiffany's inspiration for this year's costumes above. City Weekend is a weekly Shanghai magazine that all the expats read to see what events are going on that week, new restaurant and bar openings, and articles relating to expat life in Shanghai. We'll show you in a couple of days what this magazine cover inspired Tiffany to do!

In the meantime, there's nothing scarier (and funnier) than real life in China. This is no science fiction, no wild creation of imagination. Our friend here in Shanghai was working in a hospital and recently forwarded us an email he'd received. I've edited out his name to protect his safety from the rest of his employees!


Our local Chinese Purchaser just asked our friend (as Finance Director) to approve payment for a camera for the psych inpatient room. Check out her request and the heading of her email below:

From: Sammy

To: XXX
Subject: camera for the psychopath room

Hi ,

Facilities order a security camera for the psychopath room to watch the madman, make sure they are safe.

It costs RMB 1,650, so I apply for the petty cash, please approve.

Thanks,
Sammy

Cambodia - Need to gain weight?

We took so many pictures and had such a great time, that we could go on and on about our trip and how great the Cambodian people are. But time marches on, and China is still crazy, so we'll just share the rest of our photos with you. I know it's like watching our family slide show, but at least you can leave whenever you want!

And now, in no particular orders, the rest of our trip photos:

Here we have a cat laid out for a nap in front of our hotel room in Battambang. Even the cats are happy and relaxed here!







Tiffany cannot stay away from any animals. Here she befriends one of the elephants.











I prefer the more static version, as it's less likely to bite....






Dawn approaches at Angkor Wat. It's difficult to explain, but it is a magical and spiritual experience to watch the sun rise amidst those ancient, towering spires, surrounded by the lush, silent jungle.

Later in the day, tourists clambered up to the top of another temple to witness a beautiful sunset.







This mysterious old temple surrounded by water reflected its image so clearly it looked like it had a twin resting below the water.










The temples were mostly built around 1200, and subsequently lost in the jungles of Cambodia to man, resulting in their remarkable preservation.

The best way to see the temples in Siem Riep, which includes the famous Angkor Wat, is by tuk-tuk, which is a cute little car pulled by motorbike. So we rented one for the day with a very nice driver who spoke excellent English. Here is Tiffany in our tuk-tuk talking with some kids.

The steps to climb the temples were unbelievably steep, and it was closer to rock climbing than step climbing. The narrow, worn away steps left a lot to be desired.....especially for American-sized feet!













Here is our (barely) seaworthy vessel on which we spent 6 1/2 hours put-putting down the river to get from Siem Reap to Battambang. I saw someone reading Heart of Darkness -- I'm glad it was daytime because otherwise that would have scared me...






The river cruise went through a wildlife preservation area and the route was full of families living right on the water.




















Here are our photos from Battambang. There was a boat race down the main river in town that weekend, and it seemed like the whole town turned out to root them on, with families lining the riverbanks on picnic blankets to cheer, and of course semi- to fully naked kids running wild everywhere, jumping off the main bridge and crowding around Tiffany to have their picture taken.

















We had a gorgeous hotel room in Battambang in an old, restored colonial house with only six rooms.









Tiffany surprised me with a cooking class in Battambang. We went to the market with the owner of the restaurant and he showed us around, pointing out various ingredients and revealing tricks of the trade, like how chicken sellers will inject their chickens with water to make them look more plump! All the ingredients were incredibly fresh; he told us that all the meat for sale was killed that morning. This was not a class for the faint of heart or animal lovers. Cambodians are way too poor to enjoy the luxury of debating animal rights. Anyway, we purchased all the ingredients and headed back to the restaurant where we pounded spices and herbs into a curry paste in a mortar. Wow, what a workout! And this is what they do every day. I got tired after five minutes and tried to convince Tiffany to finish mine (unsuccessfully). Then we each got to cook up three different dishes in woks. After all that cooking, we settled in for a well deserved meal. It was amazing. Most of the dishes only required a few minutes in the wok, so the ingredients came out still fresh and tasty! Hands down, the food in Cambodia far exceeded our expectations and led to a 5 pound weight gain for me. I guess that was my Cambodia souvenir, a full and happy belly!














Here are some leftover shots from Phnom Penh, the bustling capital city.




Survival of the fittest - tiny kids hold on for dear life or risk flying off the back of bicycles. And with only one stoplight in Phnom Penh, we amazingly didn't see any accidents our whole time there. There was truly a method to their madness!



We stopped by the Foreign Correspondents Club in Phnom Penh a few times, to enjoy their balcony view of the river, tasty drinks, and amazing Cambodia photos collected over the years by journalists.










Tiffany claims to have befriended this water buffalo. He looks kind of pissed to me...













All in all, the trip was fantastic, and as exhausted as we are from the 4:30 AM wake-up calls to catch boats and sunrises, we're looking forward to planning our next Asian adventure!

Cambodia - Clothing Optional

Tiffany and Zach decided that their October holiday was a good time for an adventure. No more lazing poolside all day with fruity cocktails in hand! No more muscle melting spa treatments in the afternoon, fancy pants dinners at night and sissy soft hotel beds to flop into! No! It was time for a challenge, a time to test their mettle in the third world countryside, a battle of wits against the crafty locals! So it was off to Cambodia for the National Week holiday (the Chinese, true patriots that they are, take a full week off for their "independence day"). First stop, Phnom Penh, capital city. As you can see, this tricky Cambodian girl is camoflauging herself in the river to avoid detection from poor wayward tourists.

Tiff and Zach also learned to recognize this widespread band of ruffians, which roamed recklessly around the country, scaring foreigners with their bold orange gang colors, flashing them with eerily knowing smiles for no reason at all!

Living in a "one child policy" country like China did not prepare them for the total mayhem of wild packs of children running loose throughout town! Tiffany was nearly abducted by this gang of hooligans.

Is there no law and order at all? These shady fellows armed themselves with knives and sharp scissors along the street and just waited for unsuspecting long haired victims (like Zach!) to walk by...

The anarchy was relentless, with perfectly able bodied men rebelling against daylight working hours by publicly flaunting their napping skills!

This was NOT this lady's fruit! And did she take care for its well-being? Did she take normal, safety measures to ensure its safe transport? Not a chance! Just for kicks, she threw it up on her head to carry it around. And when Tiff frightenedly whispered, "Why? but why?!?" the lady snapped back, "Because I can! Because I can..."

Two more of the shaved head, blazing orange brigands, grabbing a ride off some poor hostage driver. And no safety helmets to top it off!

This truck drove up and down the streets of Phnom Penh with Billy on the back laughing at all the poor suckers who didn't have a sweet tarp stretched across the back of a pickup truck to ride.

The banana merchants convinced Tiffany to come over and take a look. "But, wait," thought Tiffany, "where there are bananas..."

"Monkeys!!!" With terror frozen across her face as Tiffany remembered her Indonesian monkey experience (see May 2006 entry: 'When Monkeys Attack'), Tiffany slowly, slowly edged away from them, and just barely managed to escape getting bitten by monkeys in two different countries where no animal health and safety controls exist.

Hammocks were a very popular form of hiding in Cambodia. Small children would often hide in the hammocks, barely visible snuggled next to an adult body. Sneaky!

This lady had all sorts of flowers and incense sticks to pawn off on us. She was friendly enough, but by the look on her face, we both knew whose side she was on, and it sure wasn't ours.....

And then, like Children of the Naked Corn (or Naked Children of the Corn, maybe), like a swarm of locusts, they came. Wave after wave of naked brown bodies came running and screaming all around us. And we just stood there. Too scared to move. Too scared to run.

We tried to call for the police, but the lone phone booth was well guarded...

One would advance while the other moved to flank us.

No pants were to be found! Anywhere!

Poor Tiffany bolted up a tree only to be sniffed out by this ruthless and toothless toddler, who poked and whacked at her like a pinata.

Elephant-mounted children cut off their exit!

Tiff and Zach finally found cover in the National Museum and the Royal Palace.

Tiffany worked up a little disguise of her own at the Royal Palace, where a "covered shoulders" requirement necessitated this fashion faux pas.

Finally at dinner, just when Tiff and Zach ditched all the children, they realized they were not alone... A hideous dragon beast glared at them from above! Tiffany kept a diligent watch on the amphibian as a terror stricken Zach attempted meekly to eat his food.

What will happen to our intrepid travelers next as they move on to Siem Reap, the second stop on their dangerous 'tour of adventure'?!? Be sure to tune in later in the week to find out.......