Tiffany and I just got back from a Chinese Labor Day vacation, also known as May Holiday here. We spent a relaxing 5 days at Club Med in Indonesia, located just a quick boat ride from Singapore. Club Med, for the uninitiated, is like a big family camp, and everything is pretty much taken care of for you, from transportation to three meals a day, to cheesy entertainment shows and countless activities to enjoy. It was just the lazy, peaceful sort of break we were looking for. In Tiffanys case, however, Mother Nature had other things in mind.
It started well enough, we stuffed ourselves full of fresh bread and fruit at every meal, and waddled around trying all the activities from archery and swimming to badminton and pingpong. 
We had been warned by the staff to keep our balcony door shut when we left, as there were wild monkeys roaming the resort. Wild, but not stupid. “They go straight for the minibar every time,” our host explained ruefully. “So smart! So smart…” he muttered in a frustrated tone that revealed the likely numerous times he’d been outsmarted by the monkeys. “But just let us know if that happens, and we will charge it to the monkeys!” he conceded with a wide grin.
Apparently, on the morning Club Med power walk, as much as guests might hope to spot a monkey munching on a banana, they were more likely to witness the clever primate downing a can of Coke for its morning caffeine fix.
That night at dinner we witnessed it first hand, as a band of monkeys took up positions along the roof of the dining terrace and watched closely for an opening to the buffet.
They seemed remarkably calm and unfazed by our presence, only backing away when the restaurant staff, who the monkeys apparently had come to recognize, approached them menacingly.
After peeking over the roof ledge and finding a clear path to the food, one monkey managed to snatch up what appeared to be a cherry Danish, before leaping away to safety.
The next day Tiffany and I went to swim with the dolphins in a dolphin preserve located on another small island outside of Club Med. It was so much fun and Tiffany got to hug and smother the dolphins with love, just 
as she’d always dreamed!
Everything was going great until later, after we'd gotten out of the pool, and the dolphin instructor offered to show us the monkey that the staff kept as a pet. Sandy, as they’d named the monkey, was tied to a leash in the back and came running out to greet us. After I cautiously allowed Sandy to stretch for some cake from me, Tiffany bent down to feed her. Still overflowing with animal affection, Tiffany completely ignored all basic rules of wild animal safety by taking her attention away from Sandy, and sat there holding food all too close to Sandy’s range. In a split second Sandy snapped at Tiffany’s hand, biting at her fingers.
Tiffany jerked back and luckily, no skin was broken, but a valuable lesson was learned that day: Be careful when feeding wild Indonesian monkeys.
So thankfully we escaped unharmed, but I did warn Tiffany that if I even see a hint of foaming on her mouth, I’ll have her locked up in a corn cob faster than she can cry “Old Yeller!”
A day later and we were happily swimming in the ocean when Tiffany was stung by jellyfish, across her thigh and foot. She proved to be a valuable radar safety, as she was swimming ahead of me and suddenly yelped in pain. I stopped, looked down into the water and spotted the stinging offender, and quickly stepped aside of it before coming to harm. Four people got stung that day; apparently the brief storm the night before had brought them into the shallower waters. Despite my best efforts, Tiffany refused to let me pee on her leg, and instead accepted vinegar from the Club Med physician.
The physician, by the way, probably thought Tiffany had been hexed, because earlier that day, we had stopped by his office to have him examine a rash that broken out on Tiffany’s leg. He assured us that it was probably a food allergic reaction, and handed us some anti-histamine. We never figured out what caused the reaction, but Tiffany did inhale about 3 pounds of fresh pineapple a day during our trip!
So despite Tiffany battling it out with the wild environs of Indonesia (and I think we both agreed that Indonesia was the clear winner), we had a terrific vacation eating great food and having a ton of fun with all the activities. It was so beautiful and peaceful there, and all the Club Med staff were super friendly and accommodating.
I was especially hooked on the trapeeze, which I played on for at least one hour each day, culminating in my final day when I managed two catch tricks (in which I had to fly from my bar and grab on to the instructor swinging from another bar). I am happy to post my circus exploits online, at http://www.mindobserver.com/tiffzach/ZachTrapeeze.htm
p.s. Previously we’d written about our parents and family visiting us, and the great time they all had touring through China. You can see some of their photos at http://mindobserver.com/china2006/
p.p.s. Tiffany is doing just fine, the jellyfish stings itch a bit but they and the rash are fading fast!
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